Thums Up

Thums-Up Cola is marketed in India as a manly drink, (i.e. right up my alley) and they got off on the good foot with me before I even had one taste. Here’s what I liked about the bottle:

  • Bottle cap was NOT a twist-off, so it required extreme manliness and/or bottle opener to pry off;
  • The bottles themselves were all scratched up and chafed, like they fell off a cargo boat in the middle of the Atlantic and judo-chopped every fish they encountered on their long swim to my local grocer’s refrigerator.

As for the taste, well, even a hunk of man such as myself cannot resist the charms of a refreshing soda. I felt like Thums-Up is overall very similar to Coke, starting off with a very strong cola bite. But it has a finish that’s heavy on the caramel, which made me want to fell every tree in a forest, leaving it denuded and fearful of its life. And also in there were some slightly nutty and gingery notes, such as might put a manly gent in the mood for some impregnation. Wait that doesn’t sound right.

But would I even notice the differences from Coke in a blind taste test? Well of course. But would an ordinary human? Man I have no idea. Why even ask me that. Like I interact with ordinary humans.

I could see myself drinking this while I was on the run from the law, or maybe as a pause for refreshment during an all-night orgy of gross sexual perversion. Whatever it is us real men do to fill up the hours each day.

In conclusion I would just like to note that Thums-Up Cola gets minus one half star on account of high fructose corn syrup, and I will KEEP ON minusing half stars until the beverage industry gets the message! I am serious.

8 thoughts on “Thums Up”

  1. I just linked to this site from parkslopegourmet and what a laugh to see my favourite childhood drink reviewed! FYI, Thums Up used to be much sharper, then it was discontinued and bought over by Coca Cola and I assume they are the ones responsible for the high fructose corn pap which is really not used in India at all (I dislike American colas, they are too sweet). Psyched to see it is sold in the States though.

  2. According to the literature women have absolutely no business drinking Thums Up. They recommend you stick with weak tea or maybe water with lemon.

  3. I just bought some of this. It is the best shit ever, how dare you give it anything other than 5 stars?!
    It has tons of caffiene, and tastes great. Too bad I cant get it cheap, gotta pay a 1 dollar a bottle from the Indian market, but it does come in a cool glass bottle.

  4. I had some thums up a few years ago when I visited India. It’s the worst shit I’ve ever ingested. Whatever you do stay far away this garbage that tastes, if I might quote my friend, “like liquid dust slapped in a bottle and marketed to curious foreigners as some sort of edible beverage while the whole country laughs at you.”

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