Naked Mighty Mango

Juice is completely a morning thing, right? I’m trying to think if there’s been a case of me being all “Man I need a fucking O.J.” at 3:30 PM CST (GMT -5), like, ever. The afternoon is typically when a gentleman’s thoughts turn to the sweet teas, the carbonated beverages. Anything with the zing and pep to drag your ass through the afternoon, until such time as you are able to crack open a frosty Bartles & Jaymes. Juice is too heavy those long hours, but taken ante meridianically, it provides the solid foundation for whatever else I pile on top throughout the day.

I brain-birthed all this science while I was drinking Naked’s Mighty Mango, because the first thing I thought of was “This would be good with some eggs.” The price-point on Naked is a bit steep, but if there was a cost-effective way to sell it in a big ol’ cardboard quart, I might be encouraged to make repeated pilgrimages to my grocer’s refrigerated section. It would make a fine substitute for the typical morning quaff (mimosas, vodka stingers, et al.)

Like most juices these days, the ingredients are a grab-bag of various fruits. Why is apple juice always the first ingredient listed on drinks like this? Is it a viscosity thing? Because I see it all the time, but it never really shows up in the taste department. I guess it gets buried by the orange, mango and banana notes. Here the orange was maybe a bit heavy; I would love it if they’d boost the mango power by about 5%, to give me the mango punch in the mouth I so richly deserve. But it’s a minor complaint. The banana is more of a grace note than anything, a whimsical little afterthought, like leaving a fiver on the dresser in the morning before she wakes.

In summation I would drink this for breakfast, along with perhaps some high-fiber cereal. On the weekends I like to mix things up with some Morningstar Farms brand bacon. As you know I am vegetarian.