How was your trip to Canada, sir. Did you see naked ladies on regular non-pay-cable TV (or as they call it, “televisioun”). Because that’s what I saw when I went to Montreal that one time. Do you remember that song called “I Just Wanna Stop” that begins “When I think about those nights in Montreal / I get the sweetest thoughts of you and me”? Well allow me to paraphrase Miller’s Crossing and say that if I knew we were going to cast our feelings into words, I would’ve brought The Best of Gino Vanelli.
But moving on, I figured now was the time to finally crack open that special bottle you sent me ages ago that was manufactured in Canada, namely TrueBlue. It has loomed in my refridge for months now, always taking a back seat to flashier beverages like Jasper’s Green Chile Chai and Sour Cream & Onion Dr Pepper and that bottle of Hong Kong SARS-parilla w/protective mask I got on eBay. TrueBlue just seemed so tame and unassuming and basically balls-out Canadian. It looked fine enough, but it was made out of blueberries. And green tea. I’m all: WTF could you possibly make a less xtreme beverage? Maybe in a lab in Vancouver? With like universal health care for all the scientists?
But silly me, I forgot that Canada was full of surprises. Did you know the movie Meatballs was made in Canada? Its French title is Arrête de ramer, t’es sur le sable which roughly translates to “Stop rowing, you’re on the sand.” Just think about it.
Similarly, TrueBlue brought me unexpected delight, despite my loathing of interCaps. It has a nice, sweet, but not overwhelmingly blueberry-y blueberry flavor. And despite its vow to anti my oxidants, I did not feel like they were being mugged as I did with pomegranate. It was all fun and enjoyable, as if Michael J. Fox or Dave Foley or Norm MacDonald or Tommy Chong or some other Canadian funnyman was working those toxins out of me with their delicious brand of hilarity.