Lest you think I’m a hater, I want to remind you that I take great pleasure in things that are minty. After Eight’s, peppermint bark, Mojito’s, you name it. I’m still sad about the fact that I haven’t been able to track down any Sprite Ice yet. What I’m saying here is that I like–am predisposed to liking, even–things that involve mint. So when I ran across Metromint, I was intrigued and thought, “Hey, maybe that’s my up my alley.”
But it wasn’t. It’s bad.
It’s really bad. It’s bad like the poetry you wrote in high school. It’s bad like Pitchfork’s review of Travistan.
Metromint tastes like you’re brushing your teeth. Take the flatest, most plastic-tasting bottled water you ever had (i.e. Klarbrunn’s), and then mix in half a tube of Crest. Does that sound like a good idea? Does that sound like something you’d enjoy?
The problem (I’ll just pick one big one, to save time) is that the mint flavoring is fairly heavy, and works cumulatively. With each sip, your mouth gets further and further into Scope territory. That is not a place you want to go. That’s not refreshing. That’s not the land of taste sensation.
I’m purposefully trying to keep this review kind of dry. I could be a lot meaner, but if I do that, then everyone will get curious and run out and try it for themselves. And I don’t want that. Firstly, because I care too much about you, and secondly because I would really like this company to go out of business as soon as possible.
Metromint is absolutely to be avoided, except by people in secret societies and college fraternities, who could maybe work this into their hazing rituals. I wish their inductees only the best of luck, and the strongest of stomachs.
11 thoughts on “Metromint Peppermint Water”
Trust me, you don’t want to try Sprite Ice. It’s like drinking watered-down Cool Mint Listerine mouth wash mixed with a splash of cotton candy flavouring. It really does taste like someone is forcibly squeezing a carny into your mouth.
Well, at least the Canadian version tastes like that. It’s possible that the US version of Sprite Ice tastes better – after all, the US food industry gets to play with a lot more toys than Canadian companies do. Witness the 5th Avenue bar, which was illegal in Canada until just recently because one of the preservatives wasn’t cleared for Canadian consumption.
So maybe Sprite Ice Version USofA has some magic pixie dust in it that wards off foulness. Let us know if you track some down.
Psh. Sprite Ice is amazing. I picked it up in China and was blown away. Don’t even think about giving up on this one.
have you tried Snow? i’d be much more inclined to try a sparkling mint beverage, rather than a flat. but really, i’m not inclined to try any sort of mint beverage unless it’s mint tea.
Have to say I disagree about Metromint’s Pepermint Water even though I’m with you on pretty much everything else you’ve ever reviewed. The Spearmint Water is also tasty. I think of it as a way to skip the trip to the bathroom to brush my teeth after lunch, because I feel all refreshed after I drink it (despite the mildy medicinal taste which in fact makes me feel proud like I’ve been doing right by my body and my teeth) and my mouth feels all clean and sparkly (unlike with other flavored waters that are sweet for no good reason). And it does wonders for a stomachache, I gotta tell ya. Wonders.
I’ve tried Snow. Imagine if you brushed your teeth with a whole tube of toothpaste. Then you gargled with club soda and spit it out. That’s what it tastes like.
I was at the NY Culinary Festival today where they handing out samples. Most of the adults were polite in their contempt for the drink, but the real kicker was this 3 year old kid in a stroller. He took one sip, spit it out on the Metromint lady and threw the cup on the floor, prompting one the samplees to note, “That’s how I felt”.
I like it. It is refreshing. I am a long distance runner – three marathons last year, so I do plenty of long runs throughout the year in my training. I love a bottle after a run when I am coolong down. Also, my children (ages 5 and 6) like to share a bottle. My wife can take it or leave it, but even she likes a bottle after her run. It is a great cool down drink for the athlete.
As a person who has IBS and Interstial Cystitis (IC) I have a limited diet that I have to follow. So the comment about having a strong stomach doesn’t really make sense when doctors recommend it for IBS patients. And I thought it tasted refreshing.
I love Metromint and think your review is way off base. My naturopath recommended peppermint water years ago for health, so I have loved it for years. I especially like the lemon and peppermint flavors.
I really liked both the peppermint and spearimint waters. I was thinking about buying the case of 24 actually. I guess that it is not something for everything especially since it is not a sweet drink and most americans probably would miss the sugar. It is just mint and water. It doesnt taste like flat water.
I LOVE Metromint! Mainly the peppermint; I think the spearmint is too subtle. I find it refreshing, not toothpastey at all. Sometimes I add a a couple of packets of Splenda and shake it up then pour it over ice, just to sweeten it up a notch. I haven’t tried the new flavors since I don’t usually like mint mixed with anything else but I might try just out of curiosity.
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