On Grenadine

Maybe you already knew this — though I still maintain that your “Professor of Mixology” diploma was made in PrintShop — but I just learned that grenadine is pomegranate syrup. Here’s me, last night, unable to sleep, staring at the glow-in-the-dark naked ladies taped to the ceiling: “…” Because I was speechless in wonder. All those Shirley Temples that got me through third grade? Powered by pomegranate. I feel like my whole life has been a lie up to and including right now.