Bolthouse Farms Prickly Pear Cactus Lemonade

Forget regular lemonade: you’ve been with her too long, and she still hasn’t shut up about not getting the lead in the drama club’s production of Anything Goes. Honestly, let it go. But whoa now who is this new girl in school? She loaned you a pencil in Chemistry, and then winked at you when she bent over to pick up her books. So she’s very sweet, but also just a little bit tart. Ain’t nothing wrong with that. And with her pierced tongue and that offhand remark she made about her overbearing stepfather, there’s a hint of mystery about her. (Seriously, WTF is prickly pear?) You have no idea, but you will dedicate yourself to finding out. After school you’ll go three blocks out of your way just so you can walk past the house/grocery store where she lives. You hear her bedroom’s in the produce section, how kinky is that? You should ask her out before Country Time and Minute Maid hatch a plot to get her kicked out of school. Plain old lemonade can be such a bitch when it wants to be.

10 thoughts on “Bolthouse Farms Prickly Pear Cactus Lemonade”

  1. Prickly Pear was my first Bolthouse Farms drink… That’s like losing your virginity to Farrah Fawcett. Can anything ever compare after that?

  2. Well, even if it’s not gonna be published in the tee oh cee, I’m happy to have it here.
    Bolthouse Farms has a lot going for it, as far as I’m concerned.

  3. This drink is obscenely sweet. The sweetness stalked me. It haunted my mouth for hours, like that overeager girl in high school who always managed to be standing by my locker, by my car, outside my class, below my bedroom window, in the library, at practice, and in the bathroom when I was, always jumping in front of me with a burst of need and delight that became increasingly disturbing the longer it went on.
    So, yeah, this is a great drink… if you’re into oppressive, codependent relationships. I prefer a little personal space, thx.

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