Gaya Aloe Farm

We find ourselves in a strange, backward land today (Korea). We were just recently talking about juices made from vegetables, but come on, aloe? Drinking aloe is surely at least halfway down the crazy hippie scale. Up here we have wheat grass and too much patchouli, and then down a little lower we have aloe juice and colon hydrotherapy, and down here is recycling your own urine.

So: am I scared? Not so much, because according to the label the ingredients go: water, then corn syrup, then aloe. And as any man of science (or God for that matter) will tell you, sugar > [oddball fruit or vegetable] = still potable. So we’re safe. But surprise of surprises, we’re not only safe, we’re also in a sleepy little hamlet I like to call Yumsville.

Yes it turns out aloe juice is delightful. Much lighter than I was expecting, and what’s more it’s clear–not at all semen-y, which is what I thought aloe looked like. (Possibly a negative for you.) It’s also very fruity and it doesn’t taste like vegetables at all. It’s kind of a cross between a purple grape and a lychee flavor. Actually it tastes bizarrely similar to purple Kool-Aid. Me neither.

But man if this had awesome health benefits I would drink it all the day. Sadly there’s no clear science about if aloe is an important part of one’s diet or not. Wikipedia says it may be a remedy for things like coughing and cancer. I definitely did not notice any real coughing or cancer since I drank this! Also aloe is said to have a strong laxative effect. Unfortunately, as you well know, my diet is already heavy on apricots and other dietary fibers, so it would be impossible for me to scientifically measure any improvements in that department. Still, every little bit helps, right? Oh stop, you know it does.

9 thoughts on “Gaya Aloe Farm”

  1. My mom once had a bottle of pure aloe juice in the fridge, since she’s kind of a health hippie. Maybe it was watered down some but it definitely didn’t have any sugar or anything in it. It tasted horrible, like how a natural household cleaner might taste. My brother labeled it “poison” after taking a sip, which I thought was funny at the time. It just seems like a lame story now.

  2. I once ate an aloe plant on a dare and washed it down with Mr. Pibb. No wait, that was two cigarettes, not an aloe plant. But anyway, I got so sick that to this day I can’t drink Mr. Pibb or Dr. Pepper without vomiting profusely.
    Now your story doesn’t seem so lame, does it mokie?

  3. here is my lame story. i’m in a drinking driver first offender program with this wack ass bob marley fan for a teacher. he was going OFF about aloe juice and how great it was, and encouraged all of us to just break bits of aloe off and gnaw on them. it’s going to make you strong and healthy and bring peace on earth. he only lets us out of class if we say “one love”.

  4. korea is strange, but not backwards. at least no more backwards than a country that votes in a joker like gwb.
    there are totally bottles of this or something simliar in my parents’ fridge.

  5. Did this have aloe chunks in it? My brother said he tasted one with aloe chunks. I think maybe it’s Japanese because he said he got it from the Japanese supermarket.
    But yeah, I think straight-up aloe is bitter.

  6. I had E.Coli about 6 weeks ago and as a result my colon lining was painfully shed and my kidneys were close to shutting down, resulting in painful swelling of my left axillary lymph node from toxins. My mother is a nephrologist and recommended me to drink aloe juice to help me grow my lining back. I bought a giant 4 litre jug of 99.7% pure orangic aloe vera juice from Lily of the Desert. I was bold and decided to drink a glass full after reading reviews of it ‘tasting good’. I literally threw up in my mouth after I chugged it back. It has a chemically taste, like drinking dish soap and bleach mixed together. Since then I only drink about 3 ounces a day, with my nose plugged and I chase it with a big glass of grape juice. I find that drinking Dandelion and Peppermint tea is also very beneficial as they help detox the lymphatic system.

  7. Children,
    In a huckstering world of commericalism bent on tantalizing, trading and training your duped sense of taste in exchange for easy money, what is healthy and beneficial may not be easily discerned (perhaps like plain ol’ pure water).
    Aloe Vera has been used since befor the ancient Egyptians for basic remedies, but modern science is finding aloe harbors medicinal wonders yet to be discovered and fully exploited – that is if basic cellular level health is strictly a “medicinal” concern.
    Otherwise, the key to the healthiest aloe for ingesting (irregardless of taste) is to find the processing least destructive to its molecular heavy-weights (as measured in both performance and Daltons). You may also wish to avoid the outer skin.

  8. I have had both experiences. I remember tasting this really awful, nasty stuff my mother gave me. This had a little sugar added, and it tasted like dish detergent.
    Then, I drank this Gaya Aloe Farm stuff when I got to Korea upon the recommendation of a friend and I have to tell you that it is some of the most delicious stuff I’ve tasted to date. It tastes similar to the Korean green grape drinks that they sell in the cans but less sour. Yumm… I better get back to drinking mine! 🙂

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