The Switch Black Cherry

The Switch. Sounds delightfully naughty, doesn’t it? Finally, a carbonated juice for ponyboys and other assorted submissives. I jest, of course.
dot dot dot or do I?

I got black cherry because you said it’s your favorite and I wanted you to notice me for once. But really, black cherry? For me it’s one of those flavor concepts that has no bearing on its real-life counterpart, like “grape.”

Even so, I placed myself in The Switch’s strong, gnarled hands. It says “NO MYSTERY INGREDIENTS” on the label, which is the kind of no-nonsense marketing I can trust and get behind. Or get behind me, as the situation dictates. I opened my mouth and let The Switch in. AND I LIKED IT. I did not even have to use my safe word. (“Spaz.”)

Unlike tea, this drink isn’t afraid to be sweet, which is to say that it’s not completely boring as hell. But because it’s not soda, you get the sense that it’s somewhat more healthy. Or at least not as bad. There’s a section of their website that shows how it has less sugar but more actual juice than many of your garden variety sodas and juices. What’s not to like. Even if they’re lying, they’re at least telling me what I want to hear.

And even though it’s still not my favorite flavor, I found the black cherry had a delicious sting to it, not unlike the cat o’ nine tails.
This first, brief taste was but a tease and has made me curious for more. Fetch The Switch, you dirty little pig.

4 thoughts on “The Switch Black Cherry”

  1. Oh man, The Switch is my favorite… um… unsoda? non-soda? Whatever. I like it.
    The first time I had it it was in cans, but since then I’ve only seen it in glass bottles. Which is great, who doesn’t like glass, but it raises the price too much for me.

  2. You get so damnably horny in the summer. Anyway, I’m all fired up to try this. I’ve never heard of it, but a) black cherry (and, like “grape,” I do not hold its distance from the source fruit as a negative), and b) well you know my love of definite-article titles, and the vaguer the better.

  3. The Switch, mmmm. My favorite carbonated beverage, although, as mentioned above, it can be a bit pricey. The featured Black Cherry is fantastic.
    I even like the Grape, which after a childhood of spoonful after spoonful of Grape Dimetapp, is no small accomplishment.

  4. Oh, now you’re talking! Their Citrus Blend flavor is my favorite. I also like their Orange Mango (and I’m not a mango fan), Grape Apricot-Peach (I’m not a fan of either), and Lemonade . Their Orange Tangerine is fine…Fruit Berry is okay…but their Cranberry-Ginger, Tropical and Watermelon-Strawberry suck, IMHO. And while it is pricey, I only indulge every other day, but boy, does it hit the spot! I gave up HFCS, so I’ll take what i can get. Cheers!!! (BTW, it also works well with a shot of vodka.)

Comments are closed.