Barritts Bermuda Stone Ginger Beer

I guess I have it my head that ginger ale is a pretty wussy beverage. I mean who opts for ginger ale. When there are other choices about. The only time I hear people requesting ginger ale is when they’re about to hurl dramatically and hope to fend off the inevitable with a little Canada Dry and some Saltines.

But when I had Gonzalo do some research on the topic (and by the way he does have feelings, OK, and I’m the one who has to be up till 2AM listening to him boo-hoo-hoo about your little comments about how he “no longer has the figure” to “pull off” that crotchless unitard you make him prance around in) he came up with something called Red Hot Ginger Ale. And that’s when my brain, made dull and sluggish by years of HFCS, realized something: Oh yeah, ginger. Ginger is spicy. Ginger destroys. Remember those nasty ginger Altoids I sent you? This is not a flavor for wusses. Maybe ginger ale’s been dumbed down over the years but it’s got a rich history of basically not fucking around.

So that led me to ginger beer, which I figured would be even more hardcore. I opted for Barritts which makes a big deal about being an authentic Bermuda kind of drink, enjoyed for generations by authentic British imperialists, and I gotta say: I’m sold. All it took was a single sip to transport me to a humid Caribbean island, wearing a white suit and discussing “the darkie situation.”

It doesn’t have the expected spice kick, but that’s fine with me — it’s sweet and smooth and that’s more my scene, anyway. But it’s still got a pretty potent taste, and in fact I couldn’t really enjoy it with my lunch because it overpowered the other flavors. Barritts is meant to be savored all by its lonesome, on a veranda, while languidly fanning oneself. Or, in my case, guzzled down quick and then smashed against a chainlink fence, the bottle now ready to cut up any bitches who need to get cut.

NOTE: Whoever affixes the Barritts labels does not seem to care about accuracy, straightness, smoothness, or really any sort of attention to detail.

10 thoughts on “Barritts Bermuda Stone Ginger Beer”

  1. Where’d you pick this up? I’m so proud of you for branching out like this!!! Soon you will be a man.

  2. I’ve also tried the Reed’s and they are too spicy for me. Like Josh, I prefer my drinks sweet and girlish.

  3. Recently, I had a Goya Ginger Beer, and it’s funny because I took a big swig and then almost died from choking. It was like drinking lava. And I was walking down the street at the time, and on the phone, but when I tried to tell the guy on the phone and the guy that pulled over to see if I was dying that I was okay, just this whistling sound came out, and then way more coughing.
    I threw the bottle into a trashcan hard and stumbled away.
    I kinda want some right now, like maybe I could take it on if I was prepared.

  4. I recently tried Bundaberg Australian Ginger Beer … way spicy in the right way. I’ve had a similar experience with the Goya Ginger Beer, and I think I know why it’s such a killer. There isn’t really any ginger to speak of in their formula … a lot of brands use mustard oil, and one whiff will either knock you over or send you into a sneezing fit.

  5. I wonder if it would be good with sushi? It’s not pickled, but the sip I stole when Josh wasn’t looking had that yummy sushi ginger feel to it. Sweet and with a kick.

  6. The Dark & Stormy…Dark Rum and Ginger Beer. Probably the most popular cocktail on the fine island of Bermuda. Try it…you won’t be disappointed.

  7. In the kicky ginger ale genre, Buffalo Rock Ginger Ale is quite lovely. I think it may only be availble in stores in Alabama, but don’t let that deter you. You can buy it online too I think. If it tells you anything, I hated it the first time I tried it. It literally hurt to drink it. It was like bees stinging my mouth. It’s supposedly based on an original formula created during the Civil War (I think) and given to soldiers for it’s “properties.” Whatever that means. For some reason I tried it again a couple of years later and now I can’t get enough of it. It’s actually really tasty. Either I’m sort of getting addicted to the pain/pleasure aspect of the thing, or it’s got crack in it. All I know is that now I love it and the fact that I can’t buy it just anywhere makes me mad! It makes me sneeze and I LIKE it! The only drawback, other than the stinging and pain of course, is the fact that you can really only drink it very cold. Otherwise it burns too much to enjoy the flavor.

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