I just want to start this post off by asking if there’s anything more wonderful than that feeling when you’re standing in front of the cooler, scanning the labels, and you suddenly see a beverage that you’ve never tried before? I swear to god I get giddy. Like that time you actually responded to one of my emails. Just a delightful, unexpected moment.
I felt like that the other day when I found Zico, which I’d never even heard of. It’s basically juice from green coconuts, being marketed as an all-natural alternative to the Gatorades. It seems like they’re particularly selling it to people who do yoga. I don’t do yoga. I actually don’t do much physical exercise at all, but I do appreciate that there are companies actively trying to make healthier drinks, and am definitely down for anything that’s not all chemicals.
There are three different variants of Zico at the moment; I tried the one that was infused with a slight hint of mango.
I think it’s important when trying a new beverage to pay close attention to whatever your mind and body tell you with that first sip. That is the magic moment. My immediate reaction to my first sip of Zico was: It feels like someone just spit in my mouth. My second reaction was: I don’t think I can finish this.
Obviously it’s not very sweet, since there’s no sugar added, but that wasn’t the main issue for me. It had a really strange feel–(I can’t bring myself to use the word “mouthfeel”)–a warmness to each sip, even though I was drinking it cold, that creeped me out. I wonder if it’s the result of all the potassium and electrolytes they add to it.
The language on the box uses the word “refreshing” twice, but it was anything but. It was just not an enjoyable experience for me. My third thought was: I wonder if this might actually be good over ice, with some rum. An interesting idea, but I’m kind of lazy, as we established above, so, blah blah blah whatever.
You have once again successfully crafted a horrible word-picture. I’ve had a potent image of a warm foamy spit-drink in my head since yesterday. Anyway I came here to ask what kind of packaging this spit-drink comes in. Is that like a pouch or something? A box? Do you stab a mini-straw in there or what?
It is a cardboard box with a foil pull-tab.
There’s your problem right there. Ain’t no drink ever been good in cardboard. That’s wisdom, right there.
There’s wine comes in cardboard! Wine’s good!
I stand behind the Tetra Pak. But a foil pull-tab? That shit’s for tiny cans of nasty off-brand pineapple juice.
When I saw the picture of Zico on your “website,” I breathed a sigh of relief that my favorite after-gym drink would finally get the props it deserves. Imagine my horror to read this little beverage hatchet job! Sure, Zico tastes a little strange without high-fructose corn syrup or any of your common Western flavorings. But it’s shockingly refreshing after an hour on the elliptical. And it’s filled with potassium, which I believe has a mouthfeel similar to that of saliva. Ignorant bastards!
There’s no such thing as “shockingly refreshing.” Clearly your palate is as refined as your vocabulary.
Not true: Someone suddenly slapping your stepmother in the face = “shockingly refreshing”
I tried ZICO and at first I just wasn’t used to anyting that isn’t chemically laced…so it was very different. I know people that have never drank a soda, but say that one sip and they were disgusted. This drink is different from anything that is shot up with preservatives that will last a decade, I happen to prefer it room temp. or warm. I’ve gone from being bamboozled by marketing and filled with additives for so long that I went cold turkey and only drank ZICO – I’m never going back…it is different and yummy!